On The Other Side of A Life Unexpected
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- Sampler Podcasts: Simple Helpful People that I love.
- People who may not have a podcast, but are highly impactful in their ministry.
- Other Practical Resources
- Definitions In Parts of the Pie
- Hot Topics with the Law & Such
- Being Informed On Abuse
- Definitions: Some Basic Abuse Definitions
- Statistics Surrounding Abuse
- Relatable Images
This menu is a mix of helpful and honestly some of the best things to help you be encouraged in your strength and the deepening of your faith in God during impossible situations that you quite literally never thought you’d face.
When you are in the midst of a crisis, its not really the time to research. Its the time to either do or don’t do, depending on what you need and only you know what you can and cannot do.
No amount of people “rooting you on” or saying “why did you do that” or “why did you stay so long”, “if it was so bad, you would have left sooner” (LOADED POTATOES OF NOT HELPFUL BEANS) is going to change the simple fact. It is your life, you need to make these choices for you and your kids. No one else lived in your life, lived in your home, saw what you saw or felt what you feel.
Its your experience and its real. No one else will answer for your decisions and thus they do not have a say in what you do.
I am no lawyer, so obviously seek legal council when dealing with matters that pertain to the law and my heart goes out to you in your time of need. I did add some additional resources below with legal help to help navigate definitions in the legal world. Know that I only place people and resources on here that I either have used personally or have read enough amazing reviews to know they are a great resource and safe for you to venture out a little into.
Safe is paramount, because who is safe right? After feeling duped for so long and conned, we don’t know who or what is safe and can feel very cautious to a point we don’t move out of paralysis. Just take it one step at a time and don’t overwhelm yourself with too much info, just take what you feel is needed and breathe through it. Please always feel free to reach out to me if you ever need any support; I always do my best to be available in any way I can. I will show up!
Sampler Podcasts: Simple Helpful People that I love.
Depending on where you are at in your journey, some of this may not be catered to your specific needs. So, take the time to look through my brief description of these resources to see what you can benefit from. I guarantee you will benefit greatly from all, but you are in control here. You get to choose what you need and don’t need. No obligations or shame here, now you go be that amazing woman you are destined to be! I will update as I listen to more, but for now this is what I have. Enjoy and Be Kind to yourself!
The Flying Free Podcast
Natalie Hoffman is a God send for me personally. In late March 2022, I began listening to her podcast (randomly saw a post about her book on facebook “Is It Me” — I have not read the book. I am not in that place personally to sit and read, but listening to the podcast has been effortless and honestly exactly what I needed in my “lazy” (for the lack of words) state of mind. I had become so numb with shame and guilt and agony – Wondering why my faith and strength were not enough and how God was punishing me for my past sins and so forth, just completely crushed under the weight of my never ending failures and somehow I had never realized just how bad my beliefs had gone. My beliefs about who God was and who I was were false. They were lies. I had no idea and Natalie through her *FREE* podcast, taught me this. My brain has done a 360, it has not been easy, its been painful, but freeing! Very freeing. I am now met with the realities of my situation and its not pleasant, but its real and its my life. I am finally taking control and with purpose making decisions for myself like I’ve never done before. I’m thankful for Natalie and her being a voice for someone like me who didn’t even realize I was silencing my own self! I will shout and proclaim Natalie’s impact on my life forever. I have not joined the programs Natalie offers which is Flying Free and Flying Higher. She touches on these in her podcast and I plan to join Flying Free soon. I have downloaded to my iPad as many of her Podcast Episodes as I can and I listen to her often if not daily. I will put some of her episodes right that have inspired and impacted me in big ways here for you to sample as you wish. Also, be kind to yourself. Going through difficult situations and seasons can be so exhausting and rough to navigate, you are doing the best you can, so give your self some credit that you are doing everything you can with everything you have. All my love to you in your healing journey.
The Flying Free Podcast Episode Sampler
MARCH 1, 2022 • FLYING FREE EPISODE 160 – An Emotional Recovery Tool That Changes Everything – By Natalie Hoffman
APRIL 15, 2020 • FLYING FREE EPISODE 62 – Seven Things an Abuser Does When You Set Boundaries -By Natalie Hoffman
APRIL 20, 2021 • FLYING FREE EPISODE 115 – How to Become Toxic Person Proof -By Natalie Hoffman
FEBRUARY 12, 2020 • FLYING FREE EPISODE 53 – The Beliefs That Keep Christian Women Stuck in Abusive Marriages -By Natalie Hoffman
JANUARY 26, 2021 • FLYING FREE EPISODE 103 – Christian Women Who Actually Care About Other Christian Women – By Natalie Hoffman
JANUARY 8, 2019 • FLYING FREE EPISODE 4 – Is Suffering Really One of God’s Purposes in Marriage? – By Natalie Hoffman
MARCH 9, 2021 • FLYING FREE EPISODE 109 – Is it My Fault Our Marriage Is Bad? – By Natalie Hoffman
MARCH 16, 2021 • FLYING FREE EPISODE 110 – Untwisting the Bible on Authority and Patriarchy – By Natalie Hoffman
NOVEMBER 25, 2019 • FLYING FREE EPISODE 43 – When Your Husband and Pastor Demand Reconciliation and Forgiveness – By Natalie Hoffman
The Christian Single Moms Podcast
Michelle Donnelly is absolutely amazing and I recently began listening to her podcast on PlusOneParents.org No one plans for a life like this. We don’t sit up late at night as little girls planning all the ways we are going to be single moms and jump for joy when we finally get the opportunity to accomplish this life long goal. No. Its not the plan or even the plan B. Its really a life shattering thing that happens and we need grace. Amazing grace with ourselves. We are precious and wonderfully made. God didn’t create us to be abused and hurt repeatedly all the while this is the example we have of Christ loving the Church. I think not. God wants more for us, to flourish in him, to thrive in Him. How can we do that if we are constantly simply trying to survive all the time. Rock and a hard place. My first red flag when reading literature on relationships is when someone adds “this isn’t for abusers”… so, basically that means what you are perpetuating is actually destructive when in the hands of abusive people. And the young women are fed these things for so long, they are prime candidates for abusers to use there “desire to please God” to their advantage. I am not immune to temptation and boy did it feel good being the good Christian, only to find out, I was also going to be blamed for everything he did wrong too. Listening to Michelle has helped me have grace with myself and I’ve laughed and cried all the while feeling seen and empowered by her beautiful presence on her podcast.
You will not be disappointed, she has been a light in my dark place and a hope in my despairing times (that continue on some days even now, we have not arrived, but we are healing). I will also put some sample episodes for your benefit. Facebook Plug for Michelle.
The Christian Single Moms Podcast Sampler
EPISODE 115: DOES GOD HATE DIVORCE?
EPISODE 116: IS ABUSE GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE?
EPISODE 117: FORGIVENESS: WHAT IT IS, WHAT IT’S NOT, & HOW TO DO IT
EPISODE 118: DISTRESS & DELIVERANCE: UNDERSTANDING THE HEART OF GOD IN THE MIDST OF SUFFERING WITH JEN WILKIN
EPISODE 120: LIFE CAN BE GOOD AGAIN: LOSS & LACK TRANSFORMED BY THE GOODNESS OF GOD WITH LISA APPELO
EPISODE 121: DOUBT & DISCIPLESHIP: ANSWERING YOUR KIDS’ QUESTIONS ABOUT GOD WHEN YOU’VE GOT SOME OF YOUR OWN WITH AMY GANNETT
EPISODE 122: FRIENDS LIKE FAMILY: FINDING YOUR PEOPLE & CULTIVATING COMMUNITY
I will load more as she releases them, but this is a good start! Many great guests on this podcast as well who are absolutely amazing! I have listed some of them below who do not have a podcast, but are pivotal in a healthy life and mindset.
People who may not have a podcast, but are highly impactful in their ministry.
I first listened to Jennie on my Bible App – Add me and you will be able to see in real time the devotionals I do and all the fun things I highlight in the Bible. Jennie did this devotional called “Get Out Of Your Head” – Its so great I did it more than once and plan to do it again. She does the reading on the plan, so you get to hear her beautiful voice. Its refreshing and at the forefront of my healing journey, Jennie was the first person I listened to in my Bible app!
Amy was a guest on Michelle’s podcast and I loved listening to her speak on theology and how important it is. It has been a life line for me to know God in my circumstance and to be able to fully KNOW who He is to me and how He is part of the “never changing” circumstance in my life. I can have ultimate hope in Him and being able to convey Gods promises to my children is such an important core value for me. I am so thankful for listening to Amy on Michelles Podcast. Adding Amy to my resources is such a pleasure.
Lisa was a guest on Michelle’s podcast and I am just thankful for being able to just relax and listen to just how much these women have put into their ministry. Using their voice and platform for the benefit of women like you and me who need hope. Reassurance in Christ and the knowledge that life will not always be this depleting and there is hope in God. On Lisa’s website you will see how she welcomes grief and inspires growth in the deepening of your faith. I’m looking forward to learning from Lisa.
Jen was a guest on Michelle’s Podcast, I have a lot of respect for someone who can be open about God and who He is. God’s character is absolutely amazing and makes me tear up knowing that He loves me. I am that special. Understanding the heart of God is the topic that Jen and Michelle talk about in the episode I listened to and I am just so amazed and the blessings God has given me, to be honored to find such amazing women to be inspired and encouraged by. Jen is a resource I firmly believe God placed in my life through Michelle. Thank you!
Bailey T. Hurley
Bailey was a guest on Michelles Podcast. Its so easy when we go through very tough, unspeakable, impossible situations to cut ourselves off (if it wasn’t done to us in our situation) becoming isolated and completely alone (as a result of our already loneliness and shame that we have known to become so “normal”) It ultimately becomes a cycle of never ending loneliness and desperation. Which then perpetuates the cycle of isolation and shame. Its a vicious cycle. Friendship is important and Bailey is such a diamond in the rough. Thankful for the things I’ve learned from these women.
Sarah has been very helpful for me in her facebook posts. I have so much appreciation for her open and candid nature. Her being cautious on how she responds with intentionality and purpose. Sarah doesn’t just say whatever, she has a very important vetting method and doesn’t just agree with someone for the heck of it. Sarah is very easy to listen to and is kind in her interactions. Sarah also responds in comments on facebook as well and is very humble in her knowledge. I love reading her blog and here is one that impacted me. I want to have grace with myself. Sarah helps me see the importance of that.
I will add more in time, but for now this is a great start!
Other Practical Resources
Speak with a Lawyer directly for legal advice, however, here are some resources that may ease your fears about taking that step. Be informed of your options and know your rights as a person in a confusing and difficult situation. Faced with choices you never thought you may have to make.
If you are concerned about the law in your state regarding marriage, divorce and children being involved, it can be highly intimidating and I know its not easy – Below I have tabs that go to different topics. Go to any of them to get some insight to the scary mystery of it all. The first hurdle that feels paralyzing is just overcoming the fear of the unknown of it all and the shame usually associated with even looking at your options. Don’t hesitate to learn all you can for what you may need. During a crisis situation, its not reasonable to think you will be able to do the needed research to make sound well informed judgment calls (especially when the risk of doubting yourself is highly probable), so prepare now for the information that you think you may need to know.
I used Marital Laws as it has the user friendly map of the USA and a drop down to see what states have what. Very easy to navigate and answer some highly triggering questions you may have and need quick answers to alleviate some of your fears around the hot topic of divorce, separation and child custody.
Definitions In Parts of the Pie
What Is Divorce?
Divorce, or dissolution of marriage, is the legal process of severing a marriage contract, which is overseen by a court of law in the state in which one or both of the divorcing spouses live. The process for getting a divorce and acceptable grounds for divorce vary from state to state. MaritalLaws.com has compiled divorce laws for all fifty states plus Washington, DC. You can view a a map of how divorce laws vary across the country by picking a law from the dropdown below, or learn more about Divorce in any state with the map below.
What Is Alimony?
Alimony, also known as spousal support, is a court-ordered provision of financial support a spouse for after a divorce. Alimony laws vary considerably from state to state, and courts often have significant flexibility on a case-by-case basis in determining whether to award alimony, how much alimony to award, and how long alimony payments will continue. MaritalLaws.com has compiled alimony laws for all fifty states plus Washington, DC. You can view a a map of how alimony laws vary across the country by picking a law from the dropdown below, or learn more about Alimony in any state with the map below.
What Is Child Support?
Child support is an ongoing payment by a non-custodial parent to assist with the financial support of their children. Child support payments are often determined during the process of dissolution of a marriage through divorce, though the only requirements for requesting child support payments are establishment of paternity and maternity. MaritalLaws.com has compiled child support laws for all fifty states plus Washington, DC. You can view a a map of how child support laws vary across the country by picking a law from the dropdown below, or learn more about Child Support in any state with the map below.
What Is Custody?
Child custody is defined as the guardianship over a child, which covers both physical custody and legal custody. In a child custody dispute the court may award joint custody to both parents or sole custody to a single parent. MaritalLaws.com has compiled custody laws for all fifty states plus Washington, DC. You can view a a map of how custody laws vary across the country by picking a law from the dropdown below, or learn more about Custody in any state with the map below.
What Is Visitation?
In the context of a child custody case, visitation is defined as the rights for a non-custodial parent to see their child, or as temporary custody that’s been granted for a period of time to an otherwise non-custodial parent or relative. MaritalLaws.com has compiled visitation laws for all fifty states plus Washington, DC. You can view a a map of how visitation laws vary across the country by picking a law from the dropdown below, or learn more about Visitation in any state with the map below.
What Is Property Division?
Also known as equitable distribution, property division is the process of dividing property rights and obligations between spouses during the process of a divorce. Property division may be agreed upon between the spouses through a property settlement, or it may be decided in court during the judicial process of divorce. The process of property division is affected by state laws such as community property laws, definitions of marital contributions, etc.MaritalLaws.com has compiled property division laws for all fifty states plus Washington, DC. You can view a a map of how property division laws vary across the country by picking a law from the dropdown below, or learn more about Property Division in any state with the map below.
Hot Topics with the Law & Such
Florida Parental Kidnapping
I am afraid the other parent will take our children out of the state. What can I do?
If you are afraid that the other parent will take your children away without your consent, you might be able to ask the judge to issue an emergency custody order that says the other parent cannot take the children out of the state, or that the other parent may only have supervised visitation. Please see Can I get temporary emergency custody? for more information as to what factors a judge might consider when deciding whether or not to grant emergency custody. You can also go to the Custody section of your state for more information. If you have reason to believe that the other parent may try to hide the child from you, you could ask the judge to order the other parent to, deposit money with the court (“post a bond”) that would cover the cost of having to try to locate and get your child back if s/he were taken. If you already have a custody order, you may be able to file to modify the order to include this.
Florida Restraining Orders
What is the legal definition of domestic violence in Florida?
This section defines domestic violence for the purposes of getting an injunction for protection against domestic violence. Domestic violence is when the abuser committed any of these acts against a family or household member:
- aggravated assault;
- aggravated battery;
- sexual assault;
- sexual battery;
- stalking or aggravated stalking, which includes harassment and cyberstalking;
- false imprisonment; or
- any criminal offense resulting in physical injury or death of one family or household member by another family or household member.1
If you are the victim of domestic violence or if you have reasonable cause to believe that you are in immediate danger of becoming the victim of any act of domestic violence, you can apply for an injunction against domestic violence.2
1 Fla. Stat. § 741.28(2)
2 Fla. Stat. § 741.30(1)(a)
Preparing for Court – By Yourself
Court can be challenging, even for people who do have attorneys. It can be especially difficult, however, for people who don’t have attorneys to help them. This section provides general information about the court process for people who have to represent themselves in court. Here we discuss the basics of the legal system, how to start a court case, what to expect when you get to court, and what you can do if you are not satisfied with the outcome. If you need more information, you may be able to find state specific information on your state’s court website or through your area’s legal services organization.
Being Informed On Abuse
Signs of Abuse
Am I Being Abused?
It is not always easy to figure out if certain actions that your partner does would be considered abuse or not. You may make excuses for your partner’s behavior or convince yourself that you are overreacting and that what you are going through is “not so bad.” However, the general pattern of domestic violence is that abuse gets worse over time. If you can identify the signs of abuse early on in the relationship, you may have a better chance of getting out safely. This section offers a checklist of behaviors that could indicate that you are being abused, as well as signs of increased danger that could lead to you being seriously physically harmed or killed.
Although there are many forms of abuse, certain abusive behaviors indicate that a victim is at a greater risk of being seriously injured or killed by the abuser. Experiencing any one of the following factors does not guarantee that an abuser will use enough violence to cause you serious injury or death, but it may be important to recognize which factors and behaviors indicate an increased risk of danger so that you can plan for your safety.
Forms of Abuse
Domestic violence, also known as domestic abuse, can come in many different forms. At the root of all forms of abuse, however, is the need for the abusive partner to keep power and control over the victim. We hope that reading about all of the different forms of abuse will help you to recognize some abusive behaviors that you may not have considered to be abusive. If you are worried about your own safety or the safety of a loved one and you want to learn about legal options, feel free to reach out to us on our Email Hotline.
Some basic Abuse Definitions.
Domestic Violence/Dating Violence
Overview of domestic violence and dating violence, who it affects, and the different types of abuse.
Information on emotional and psychological abuse, including signs and effects of this type of abuse.
Information about credit card debt, identity theft, and other money matters when there is domestic violence.
Reproductive Abuse and Coercion
Information about reproductive abuse and coercion.
Sexual Abuse and Exploitation
Information on sexual assault committed by strangers or acquaintances, sexual assault committed within intimate relationships, including by a spouse (known as marital rape), statutory rape, and forced prostitution.
Information about stalking and cyberstalking.
Information about abuse through the court system, such as when an abuser files excessive motions, petitions, and adjournments to make the victim continually come to court.
Statistics Surrounding Abuse
Below statistic information is found at TheHotLine.org
Intimate partner violence alone affects more than 12 million people every year.
Over half of all college students (57%) say it’s difficult to identify dating abuse.
1 in 5 college women has been verbally abused by a dating partner.
43% of dating college women report experiencing violent and abusive dating behaviors including physical, sexual, digital, verbal, or other controlling abuse.
38% of college students say they don’t know how to get help for themselves if they experience dating abuse as a victim.
Find Your Local Public Housing Agency (PHA)
If you need public housing assistance or would like specific information about public housing programs such as housing choice vouchers, please contact your local Public Housing Agency.
To view contact information for Public Housing Agencies in your city and state, select your state from the list-box, or use the map below.
About the Find Shelter Tool
The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development’s (HUD) Find Shelter tool provides information about housing, food pantries, shelter, health care, and clothing resources in communities across the country. Click on one of the categories above, enter your location, and click Search to get started.
HOUSING COUNSELING SERVICES
The nationwide network of HUD participating housing counseling agencies have been helping customers across America for more than 50 years by providing answers needed to make informed housing decision.
Low Income Housing Search Tool
- Search for an apartment. You can use this map to find a privately owned apartment with reduced rents.
- To apply: contact the apartment management office.
I personally work from home and its important to me to do so. If you feel the same, here are some great places to start your income journey with work from home options. All of these are non-employed positions. The flexibility that comes with that is pretty nice to have an option in doing, especially when you are going through situations that prevent you from having a good schedule.
This is who I currently contract with. I am a GBA (Gig Brand Ambassador) it is not a W2 job, which means I’m not employed and I will have to pay taxes during tax season. This also means I am self employed. With Omni you have the freedom to make your own schedule while also trying to ensure we meet the clients expectations for the project. Some projects can last months and some can be temporary. Each Gig can range from being on phones like a call center set up to doing tickets and cases, which is what I have been blessed to be doing. I’m not a particular fan of being on the phone.
I have worked a project on this platform and it can be good. You can make your own schedule here too, the difference is you have to pay for your class, and that can range from $20 to $50. Now, once you do that, you are set and the program I worked on I was doing tickets too. So, it was seldom phones. They do exist, few and far between, but non-phone jobs are real. Not just a unicorn. I’m focusing on Omni right now, so I’m not on this platform right now, but its always something I check to see what is available.
This is a literal whenever gig, meaning you don’t even create a schedule, you just “hop on” whenever you want to work. It is 100% commission based. You are a hotel planner, booking rooms for callers. It is strictly phones. The plus to this is its 24/7 and you literally don’t have to “clock in”. You just get on. And go! Also, it doesn’t technically need to be hard wired, so if you have WIFI access that’s good enough. So, this gets a mention purely based on you being 100% in control, and sometimes that’s what we need.
For more work from home job leads you can tap here and it will take you to my job leads page.
You are in control of your life. Use these resources to find comfort in knowledge. Use what you can and disregard what you don’t need.
My name is Hannah. I hope you find what you need.