What Does Reactive Abuse Look Like?

Hi! I’m Hannah♥️

Hey! My name is Hannah. If you’ve ever been baited or dog whistled before, and you then respond so far out of character — you then feel ashamed and they use that instance as the grand finale of proof that you are actually the abusive or crazy one and this is what they have to put up with. It’s emotional blackmail, is what I call it.

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They corner you, interrogate you, push and push verbally and prod, relentlessly not taking your “NO” seriously, or they say a word or phrase (that anyone else would deem normal, yet you know what they actually mean) or they physically do something as insignificant as a hug to the onlooker, but you know this is a boundary they knowingly are violating — although looks innocent, it’s all by design. Completely disregarding your requests for them to stop, pushing you over the edge to the point — you are literally one thin thread from ripping your own hair out and tearing down the walls in rage that engulfs you like a bear who has been smothered to the brink of suffocation, and the only grasp for air looks like a crazy lunatic pitching a massive tantrum of bitter rage. Yes. That is something not many people will admit, but if you’ve been there. You know. It’s literally abuse — pressed on you so meticulously, that they can completely alter everything to the point you’ll begin believing you’re the abusive one. It’s absolutely sickening and devastating. Much love in your healing. ♥️

Reactive Abuse TikTok Link

Raw Motivations speak on this baiting tactic to turn the actual victim in an abuser as well. Through all the manipulation and covert ways of “caring” to create a “crazy” narrative that others will see of the real victim, in order to prevent the real victim from ever being able to get out from under their thumb. These tactics are designed to cripple you, without you even realizing it. And when you realize it, you’re mentally battered by your own shame for having been abusive and feel like there’s no way out. That’s their goal, to keep you thinking you need to always be apologizing to them and puffing them up as the wonderful gods they want everyone to see themselves as. TikTok Link

Raw Motivations speaking on reactive abuse — what it is and what the real abuser is doing to trigger this in their victim. TikTok Link

Raw Motivations speaking on how they will rage out when you hold them accountable. TikTok Link


Triggering video!!!! They feed off of the reactions they invoke in us, like sweet nectar. They destroy us, but allowing us to destroy ourself, like porn. They want to watch us humiliate ourself. They want to watch us be who they hate about themself, so they can justify their cruel behavior toward us. TikTok Link

My choice was to separate and go grey rock (hard to do, I struggle often) once this became clear to me, this was only going to increasingly get more dangerous. It got to the point, my reaction was on par and completely out of character for me. There were other variables too, but this one and accountability were big eye openers for me — it led me to have clarity in my family of origin too, some really interesting revelations there that I’ve been working through in therapy. It’s been amazing to gain clarity, painful grieving the loss and difficult dealing with the flashbacks. However, I had to remove myself from the equation. Hardest decision I’ve made. I pray for their healing and a changed heart — I have no room for bitterness or resent, God loves me and has provided all my needs, I’ve learned I cannot take responsibility for anyone else’s life choices and I need to take responsibility for my choices. I choose not to live in chaos or confusion. It is very dangerous dealing with these real situations. People who are not trauma trained or even understand the depths of this behavior will not be a safe place for you to speak and ignorantly dismiss your experience, or they too are abusive and knowingly dismiss. Natalie Hoffman with flying free helped me start my journey to clarity and she is a beacon of hope. I am not an advocate for divorce or staying, I’m simply an advocate for clarity and Gods deliverance from the clutches of evil. I will always support you in every season of your life. Much love, Hannah.

Dog whistling explained — TikTok Link


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Published by The Family Treat

I’m a mommy of two! I love everything from food to traveling to being at home and relaxing! Arts, crafts, helping others be the best they can be. Life is short, we need to utilize every since moment of it!

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