What does emotional freedom even mean? We are all experiencing circumstances through the lens of our own life experiences, childhood unhealed wounds, maturity level, intellect level, I mean ALL the variables. So, it’s practical to say, we ARE inevitably going to have disagreements. Of which should be met with patience, compassion and understanding. With the common goal to learn and work together, versus winning the disagreement and causing chaos, confusion and discord. When chaos, confusion and discord are the goal of one person, while the other person seeks mutual respect and grace with one another — it creates an environment of emotional neglect and betrayal.
Emotional freedom (not to be confused with acupuncture) is a spectrum of behaviors that provide you with the safety and reassurance you need in order to evaluate yourself — mostly verbally, but can manifest physically too — in order to process the thoughts or deep seeded beliefs for which are manifesting in emotion and feelings. We often self harbor until an eruption occurs, then become guilt ridden, feeling it will just be better to never work on ourselves and we just deny our experience to “keep the peace” — which is now perpetuated due to the self same cycle of isolate and dismiss. People who have been gaslight, projected on, silent treatment, stone walled, love bombed, hoovered, darvo and many other complex mental and spiritual and emotionally abusive behaviors — are very prone to blame themself (instantly feeling disoriented when reality and the façade created by the abuser(s)* clash) — when someone has experienced this twisting of reality, the need safe people who “GET IT” to help them with the ground work — people who are not capable of saving space for you to process your thoughts — ADVICE & JUDGMENT FREE — are not people we should share our vulnerable situations with. Emotional freedom is getting to the place where we feel comfortable to cry and get vulnerable and know what’s happening — free from the darvo is the ultimate emotional freedom, free from the addictive love bombing turned crazy-making reality shattering projection and gas-lighting — this emotional healing, it’s not free of pain, but it’s freedom and a journey worth taking. If you choose to stay or leave is your choice.
*If you are entangled (trapped, stuck, this is it) with a person who blames you for their behavior and you’ve found yourself feeling guilty. (This is emotional abuse, it’s a form of gaslightening called Darvo.) myself included didn’t and still have a hard time calling this abuse, so for definitional sake, I felt it important to remind — I put the *, because I made it plural for abuser(s). That is because in my experience, you will have a first and it doesn’t always mean intimate partners. You will also face flying monkeys. This is when you reach a stage of the cycle, where you are showing signs of no longer taking their BS, so they now need to in-list people who have been groomed to think they (the abuser) is the victim and come at you for being so abusive to the abuser (who they will defend to the death)… ie your kids, family of origin, your mutual friends.. the list goes on. Well meaning people, who otherwise feel they are doing the right thing, are being manipulated into abusing you further. It’s gutting really.
Dealing with our emotions can get messy, but it’s the work that needs time, dedication and patience. Save space for yourself to feel. Get vulnerable with yourself. Give yourself permission to be deep about your experiences and don’t be quick to judge yourself for feeling deeply.
Your experiences are real. What you feel shouldn’t be ignored. You are worth listening to and hearing.